New Life Assembly

Sphere of Influence

I graduated from Bible College well equipped to read, study, and teach the Bible.  I went into pastoral ministry assuming that I was ready to be a pastor but discovered, to my great chagrin, that I wasn't nearly as well prepared as I thought I was.  It seemed that I had been trained to do a job that probably existed 30 years ago, but no longer exists today.

While there was a lot of work to do to get ready for a Sunday message, or a midweek teaching, there was a whole other realm of the work of a pastor that I hadn't learned much about at all:  leadership.  It was assumed that if you were "called" to be a pastor you would automatically get the leadership stuff that went along with that role, but I don't think that was always the case.  

My first pastor, and a great mentor to me in ministry, recognized this gap between my education and the experience I would require and he did his best to fill it.  He fed me books to read and worked diligently with me to increase my ability as a leader.  Early on I grabbed on to a concept from one of those leadership books that has stuck with me for quite a while.  John Maxwell famously says (or quotes someone else saying) "Leadership is Influence", and for the most part, I've come to see that this is true.

That's probably why when I was reading the other day in 2 Corinthians a certain passage stuck out to me. At the end of chapter 10 as Paul is writing to the Corinthian church defending his ministry against some of the criticisms that have been leveled at him he writes: 

"But we will not boast beyond limits, but will boast only with regard to the area of influence God assigned to us, to reach even to you." 

It struck me again that God has given me an area of influence for the sake of his Kingdom and work in the world, and it would be a failure on my part if I don't steward that influence well.  Paul recognized that there were limits to that area of influence, but within it, he was tenacious about making the most of his impact.  He wouldn't boast out of bounds, but within those bounds he had a healthy sense of pride and protectiveness for the lives God had given him influence with.

Here's how I think of my areas of influence.  Maybe thinking through these would help you understand the areas that are uniquely yours.

1. Family - This is my primary area of influence because these are the people closest to me.  They know me better than anyone else, and will be more sensitive to a lack of integrity in my leadership.  It is incredibly important to me that I fulfill my role as Rita's husband well.  I want to lovingly lead her into becoming everything that God has destined her to be.  No one else gets to fulfill my role as a dad to Jacob, Seth, and Aislinn, so it is vital that I lead them well.  My words to them weigh so much more than anyone else's at this stage of their life, so I want to use those words to encourage them towards becoming the characters in God's story that he wants them to be.  If I steward my influence well in this area, it will always be the most important task.
2. Friends - God has been incredibly gracious to me in giving me some friends that are as close to me as family.  In this role I'm not seen as an influencer by virtue of a role or position, but because I have been given permission to have influence.  Abuse your influence with your friends, and they will eventually walk away.  But if you use your influence wisely to encourage, build up, and when needed challenge your friends, you will find that the quality of those relationships will go deeper than you might ever have imagined, which will lead to the most rewarding, fulfilling friendships you've probably ever had.  Together you will push each other to deeper love for God.
3. Church - I've spent over 13 years here at New Life and this is probably the area where I've had the most growing to do.  At the beginning I had influence only by virtue of a position:  I was the pastor, therefore I had influence in decisions.  But over time I have learned that the kind of influence that really shapes lives and moves them towards God's purpose as individuals and a community doesn't come from a title, it comes from character and consistency.  I'm grateful for a group of people who was willing to let me learn "on the job" and gave me great grace through my many mistakes.  I think that now when I talk about vision or direction for the future I have a greater credibility with people by virtue of having invested my life in their well-being.
4. Community - When I first came to New Life I would say I had zero influence in my community outside of the church.  As I've consistently plugged away at connecting outside of the church and finding ways to serve the community I think I've earned some influence that comes by virtue of serving alongside someone in a cause that matters to both of us, even if it's not overtly "religious".  While I'm certainly not a major influencer of policies in the town, I do think that I have learned how to step into certain places where my voice can make a difference. 

All of these are areas where I have already grown, but where I'm certainly still a work in process.  Take some time to think through the various areas where God has given you influence, and ask what you're doing in those areas to make a difference for him there.  You may be surprised by what you see!

Tension, Grace, and Humility

Last night in our partnership group we had some great discussion about hypocrisy, self-righteousness and the human tendency to point out someone else's flaws while ignoring our own.  Before we dive in, let me give you a little bit of context.

We've been working through a video curriculum based on Tim Keller's excellent book, The Reason for God.  Each group meeting we've been watching a video of Tim Keller with six other people who don't identify themselves as Christians as they discuss various objections to Christianity.  

This week's objection dealt with the question of hypocrisy among Christians and asked why the church has been responsible for so much injustice throughout the years.  On the surface I thought this was probably the easiest objection to deal with simply because there is an element of hypocrisy and injustice inside every single human being regardless of whether they're a Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or even an atheist.  We are all good fault-finders when it comes to the shortcomings of our neighbors, and we're less adept at finding our own faults even when given overwhelming evidence that they exist!

As we discussed this, the word that kept coming to my mind was:  "tension".

When we identify ourselves as a follower of Jesus, we have suddenly identified ourselves with a certain body of teaching, which is then meant to carry over into a certain kind of behavior consistent with that teaching.  We would say that we've accepted the forgiveness that Jesus offers for our sins - past, present, and future - but we would also say that it is important for us to be making different choices as we move forward in our lives with him.  The standard that we have publicly embraced as a follower of Jesus is an impossible one.  Jesus himself said it this way in Matthew 5:48 - "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

That means, by necessity, there is a gap between our current conduct and the standard which we believe should guide our lives.  I don't know anyone who has arrived at the "be perfect" standard yet.  In that sense there is always a measure of hypocrisy in us because we claim to be following Jesus who calls us to perfection and yet we fall short of that standard on a daily basis.  There's an awful lot of tension in that gap between our actions and God's standard.

That is where two other key words step in.  The first is grace.  God's grace extended to us in Jesus is the means that bridges the gap between us and God.  Our conduct is imperfect, and yet we are forgiven for those sins by Jesus' sacrifice for us.  But grace is not the under-rug-sweeper that we sometimes make it out to be.  Grace actually calls us to account for our actions and seeks our transformation. In other words, grace is not tolerance.  Tolerance is passive - do whatever you want to do and I won't bother about it.  Grace is active - what you've done is wrong, I love you and want to see you change going forward.

Sometimes in church world we think that if someone calls us on an area of our lives that is out of step with God's character that they're being judgmental or hypocritical.  But in the context of true Christian community, where there is genuine love for each other and grace being extended, the best thing we can do is to call each other on our sins.  Paul actually says that we should forget about judging people outside the church, but inside the church we should judge each other so that we can, by God's grace, bring our community more into line with Jesus' intention (1 Corinthians 5:12).

The second key word to address the tension is humility.  This is where we often go wrong with our judgment towards each other.  For whatever reason we forget that there are still gaps in our lives between where we are and where God wants us to be.  It may be in a different area than the one we're addressing with our fellow believer, but the gaps are very real.  So when we're talking to each other about areas of our lives that are out of step with God's character we should be careful to do so in an attitude of humility.

Paul writes to the Galatians that when they restore a brother who has been found to be sinning they should do so gently while also keeping watch over themselves so as not to be tempted into sin themselves.  A little humility with each other would go a long way towards seeing true grace do its transforming work in our lives.  

Let's be honest, the tension is always going to be there.  But in a church community we can go a long way towards closing those gaps if we're willing to offer true grace in a spirit of humility.

Why I CrossFit (and Church)

For the last 12 years of my life I've paid much more attention to my physical well being than I have at any point in my life before that.  I remember the day I stepped on the scale at the doctor's office at the age of 25 to see it reading 240 pounds.  I remember the day my grandmother in her most well-intentioned but direct way told me that I was (how do I say this delicately?) more well-endowed than my sister.  Not long after that Rita and I found out that she was pregnant with our first child. 

It was a perfect storm of sorts for me.  I was terribly overweight, out of shape, and even my grandmother was making fun of my body.  Something had to change.  I went on Weight Watchers and lost nearly 40 pounds.  Then I gained a lot of it back.  Then I lost it again.  Then I started exercising in addition to dieting and I maintained my weight.  Then I gained some back and lost it again.  I started lifting weights at the YMCA with a friend, which made me feel stronger but when I had to start lifting on my own, I found my motivation lacking.

So about nine months ago, in hopes of getting stronger and more fit I walked into our local CrossFit gym (affectionately known as a "box") to see if this was what I was looking for.  From the first free introduction class on a Saturday morning I was hooked.  It was seven minutes of pure agony that made my hour long workouts at the YMCA seem like a Sunday nap.  I knew I was in for pain when the coach said to all the newbies that the "warm up" would be worse than our regular workout.  He was right.

But I came back.  I signed up for the On Ramp class to get introduced to the basics of CrossFit, and then I started joining regular workouts.  I had found something that I thought would make a huge difference in my pursuit of physical fitness.  And in the process I found some interesting parallels between what was happening in the gym and what happens in my life in the church.  The same reasons that I loved my church were the reasons I kept coming back to CrossFit:

• I needed a coach.  I needed someone to look at me from outside and evaluate what I was doing.  I needed help figuring out when my form would break down.  I needed another set of eyes to watch me as I learned how to lift in ways I'd never lifted before.  Sometimes I need the reminder not to burn through the beginning of a long workout too quickly.  Other times I need the coach to stand beside me and refuse to let me drop the bar even though everything inside me wants to.  In other words, I found that the coaches function like I want to function as a pastor in my church.  I pray for my words to be well timed and provide encouragement to those who are tired and challenge to those who need to be stirred up.  There are times that I want to just provide another set of eyes to someone in my church so that they can see the ways that God has been working in their lives.
• The Community.  When I worked out at the Y I drove to the gym by myself, put in my workout by myself with my music playing, and then walked out the door alone.  I've found that the sense of shared experience at CrossFit is a huge piece of what makes it meaningful to me.  We talk before a workout, then we experience the shared blood, sweat and tears of a workout, and when it's over we bump fists or shake hands and stack up weights together to get ready to do it all over again the next day.  While CrossFit supports my quest for physical fitness, the church provides the same sense of community for my spiritual fitness.  We share that Sunday morning experience or a small group environment together and when we do, we're taken to a place where we are no longer individuals, but where we are the church united in worship of our God as we move closer to him.  I grow more as a follower of Jesus in community than I ever would on my own.
• Fitness.  I've never been much of an athlete.  I played sports as a kid, but as I got older my life had gotten more sedentary.  CrossFit has allowed me the chance to compete (albeit against myself) again in a way that has felt more purposeful than spending 30 minutes on an elliptical machine ever did.  As a result I'm more physically fit and capable than I've probably ever been in the past.  I needed a push in this direction, and CrossFit provided it for me.  But more important than my physical fitness is my spiritual fitness.  CrossFit specifically doesn't train for specialization, but for being generally fit and capable of doing more work.  I think spiritual fitness is much the same.  Sometimes I think we can specialize in one area of our spiritual fitness to the neglect of others, and that doesn't prepare us well for actual life.  We need to be ready for the spiritual demands of a life that often presents us with challenges that we've never seen before, and my spiritual fitness community (a.k.a. my church) gives me the place to work out that fitness.

 

 

"Mother's Day" Monday Reflections

In my ongoing efforts to be (a) more disciplined, and (b) more creative, I'm working on a new blogging schedule.  For a long time I've been just going once a week, but starting this week I'm shooting for two.  I think the Monday post will be probably a bullet point download of everything I can think of from the previous weekend, and then later in the week I'll try to write on something more substantive.

So, enough chitchat...let's get to the point.

• Rita spent Friday and Saturday with my mom, my sister and my sister-in-law out on the Cape for what has become their annual "ladies weekend" away.  I think she got some refreshing time away from the kids, and I did my best to keep up with everything she usually does.  What did I realize?  I wouldn't be a good single dad, and I still hate laundry.
• Mother's Day weekend was tougher for me than I thought it would have been.  Every card I wrote made me tear up thinking about my dad, even though they were for the moms in my life.  I finally understood how difficult these days can be for those who DON'T have the one they love around any longer.  It's yet another reminder that the more I age and experience different stages of life, the more God uses those moments to soften my heart as a pastor.  
• Yesterday was a great day at New Life on lots of accounts, but one of my favorites was listening to Jason bring the message.  He's grown so much in both his content and his confidence as a speaker, and I thoroughly enjoyed his message on why we do groups at New Life.
• Speaking of which - we do groups at New Life so that we can each have the opportunity to grow deeper in relationship to God and in community with each other.  But maybe the best question Jason asked yesterday was, "Why don't you?"  Food for thought when we come around to the fall and open up new groups again.
• While we've gone away from doing much in the way of morning announcements on Sunday, we are trying to make sure that we keep everyone in the loop of what's happening.  Our newest way to do that is through text message updates.  If you're interested in getting those about once a week, text "nla" followed by your name to 59769 and you'll be signed up to receive those.  
• Block Party is coming soon (June 22)!!!  We got our postcards to hand out and send out this past week, so be sure to pick some of those up to use for inviting your friends to the party this year.
• We've got another 21st Century addition to what we're doing at New Life that we're going to unveil this Sunday.  I won't tell you what it is, but it definitely has the potential to make your life easier. 
• Last but not least, I received a few positive comments about what I shared regarding Mother's Day at the end of service.  I should point out that my thinking was shaped in part by this post on another blog.  What follows is the text I wrote and read from yesterday:

Mother’s day probably captures the full spectrum of human emotions:

Joy to sadness,
Hope to despair,
Laughter to anger,
Peace to fear,
Security to doubt,
Trust to worry,
And everything in between.

That’s the case because no one here has walked exactly the same road to this point.

Some of us today are celebrating because we’re with our moms, or because our kids are sitting next to us, happy, healthy, and in right relationship.
Some of us today are grieving the loss of our own mothers, either through death or a separation that’s not of our own making.

Maybe someone here just found out they’re pregnant for the first time, and there’s a tremendous amount of hope springing up in your heart.
Maybe others of us despair because we’ve prayed for God to give us a child, and he still hasn’t answered.

Some of us are going to laugh with our moms later when we remember the great times we’ve shared together.
And others of us might silently seethe with anger that our mom never quite lived up to the promise of that name.

Some of us are caring for children that are not our children by birth, but are children by choice and by heart and find peace and contentment.
Others of us are afraid that those children we’ve birthed are making choices that are leading them down a darker, more dangerous path.

Some of us have tremendous security in being a daughter, a friend, a mentor and a child of God and don’t weep to not be a wife or mother.
Others of us are doubting our own worth because we haven’t filled the role that we thought we would have by now.

And in all of these emotions, all of these moments, we find God present with us in unique ways.  And all of you ladies may, at different times, feel any one of these emotions, or any number of them at the same time.  But in all of them we, your church community, want to honor you – mothers, grandmothers, foster mothers, adoptive mothers, spiritual mothers, daughters, sisters – as gifts to us from God.  

 

Looking In, or Looking Out?

Rita and I had the privilege of spending a couple days away from home on Tuesday and Wednesday, which was a much needed break for both of us.  We went to a show with Needtobreathe at the Boston House of Blues Tuesday night, and then spent part of the day walking around Boston on Wednesday.

We both wanted to visit the site of the recent bombing in the city, so we took the train over to Copley Place and spent a few minutes looking at the various items that have been left in a shrine of sorts that has been set up there in memory of the victims.  The memorial area that has been set up sits between two beautiful, historic Boston buildings.  On the one side is the Boston Public Library, on the other Trinity Church.

Rita and I decided to take a walk through Trinity Church, so we purchased our tickets and received our guidebooks to look around the breathtaking sanctuary.  One of the highlights is the stained glass window pictured above at the rear of the sanctuary.  It's a work by John Lafarge called "Christ in Majesty", and there's no way that a picture could really do justice to how stunning it is when the light hits it.  I imagined what it would be like to stand in a pulpit in a cathedral like that, preaching to people with the image of the exalted Christ looking back at me.  The particular technique used for the stained glass makes it appear to glow with light from within, and it was absolutely beautiful.

When we finished our brief tour through the church, we stepped outside into that same light and walked away from the building.  I wanted to take a picture of the exterior, because it really is such an intriguing building to look at.  I turned to look back and noticed something that caught my attention physically and spiritually.  The stained glass image of Christ in Majesty was still visible to me from the outside, but this time it was devoid of color and faceless.  

That's when it occurred to me.

We build churches for church people.  We like being in the church, looking up at Jesus looking back at us.  I would love to preach in a building like that, but all that majestic, gorgeous stained glass does nothing for the people walking by outside every day.

I wonder if Jesus would prefer to have his stained glass window looking out onto Copley Place, onto the square where the sorrow and hatred and bitterness and anger and shock and fear run mingled together in the hearts of broken people in need of healing.  Based on the way he consistently turned away from the religious towards the sinners and the suffering in his world, I think he might rather his eyes, and his church, be facing outward.

I'm not sure how to accomplish that from an architectural standpoint, but I have a good idea of how to do that from a people standpoint.  We keep encouraging each other to be conscious about the ones who are still outside our walls.  We keep reaching out to them in ways large and small.  We never forget Jesus' words when he was challenged by the religious people of his day:

"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.  Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.  Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me:  I have found my lost sheep.'  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over on sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."

Luke 15:4-7

Good Words, Good Work

"Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth;
an outsider, and not your own lips."
Proverbs 27:2

Twice in the last two days I received some praise that was both sincere and unexpected.  Both were about areas that I have consciously worked on in the last several years of my life, and both were deeply gratifying.  There is a difference between sincere praise and flattery, and I think both of these compliments were given with a genuine heart.

Do you know what happened as a result of those?  It strengthened my resolve to keep making progress in those areas.  One related to the work I'm doing to try to take care of my body better, and one was related to some leadership lessons I've been learning over the years.  And in both cases I walked away from those very brief statements thinking that I should keep up the good work because it's really making a difference.

And then I thought how often I might withold praise from someone else, either out of pure neglect, or out of some deeper fear that praise will "go to their head" when it's offered.  I thought about how stingy I can be with words of encouragement at times, and how effective a well-timed word of praise can be in encouraging another person to move in the right direction.

When it comes to changes in my own life, I'm very willing to see the sacrifices I've made and the commitments I've made as these incredibly difficult, challenging things. But when I look at someone else working to change in their lives, I tend to minimize it, to see it as a minor improvement at best, or to ignore it completely.  

So today I felt like asking myself, and you, what if we just took an extra moment today to pay a sincere, well-deserved compliment to someone else?  What good might come from that praise?  What might your wife think when she heard your words?  What might your kids think when they hear your encouragement instead of your correction?  What might your friend, your boss, or your coworker think when you offer a genuine acknowledgement of something they've done well?

We might find that those struggling through a challenging moment find fresh strength to face the day.  Those wondering about the value of the changes that they're making as they follow Jesus might keep at it for another season because someone else noticed the difference.  Those in places of leadership above you might lead with more diligence and more attention as a result.  

The Scriptures (in Galatians 6:9) remind us that we should not grow weary in doing good for God's Kingdom, because in time we will reap the results of that work.  Let's face it, sometimes we need to hear that word of encouragement from someone else, because the road can feel lonely.  Don't hold back from someone else what you would want offered to you. 

Of Les Mis, Lecrae and Les Sox...

I'm hoping that Tuesday's 45 degrees and rain was winter's last, desperate attempt to make my life miserable.  And let me tell you, winter succeeded, because every time I walked outside Tuesday I immediately felt at least 50% worse than I did while I was inside.

Guess what?  It's time for another blog post of random, disconnected thoughts!!  I know you're super excited for this, so here goes:

• I finally finished Les Miserables (the book version) last week.  What an incredibly rich, beautiful and redemptive story!  I found myself in tears at the end of the story, overcome with the rich imagery of a man who gives his life for others so selflessly.  I couldn't help but see the Christian parallels throughout the story.
• Then I watched the recent film version, and confirmed again that I don't think any movie can ever possibly compare to the rich experience of reading a book.  There's just too much stripped away to get to the visual storytelling that has to happen in a movie.  And believe me, I get it that film and the page are totally different media, but I still prefer a great book to a great movie.
• I can't think of Les Miserables without thinking of a few people in High School who were passionate fans of the musical.  And now I can't think of High School without remembering that when June rolls around I will officially have been a High School graduate for 20 years.  How did that happen?
• In my neverending effort to get myself cultured I also went to a rap concert a couple weeks back.  No, it wasn't Snoop Lion (or whatever he's calling himself these days).  It was a guy named Lecrae who my kids happen to think is the greatest thing since peanut butter and chocolate.  And while rap/hip hop is definitely not my favorite music genre, I have to admit that Lecrae's passion for the gospel was clear, his message was incredibly uplifting, and I actually enjoyed myself.  Also my daughter thought it was a win that I decided not to publicly embarrass her by showing off my dance moves.  That said, I stand by what I told her:  my dance moves rock.
• I have some great friends in so many different areas of my life.  I spent Friday night with a few of them laughing, talking and generally enjoying the good, bad and funny things about my life.  Last week I had coffee with a friend who is a mentor to me in life and ministry who was in town for a couple weeks from Indonesia.  I spent several hours Friday afternoon with another friend who always helps me dream bigger dreams for God's Kingdom in my life and my church.  It's amazing how good friendships enrich my life, and how good God is to have brought those people into my life.
• In a couple weeks Rita and I are getting to spend a night up in Boston.  We're seeing Needtobreathe in concert at the House of Blues and then have the day to ourselves in the city.  I'm not sure how different, if at all, it will feel post-Marathon Monday, but I do know that my love for that city has only increased as a result.  Can't wait to be there, and especially can't wait to be there with Rita who is, above all, the greatest gift God has given me.
• Speaking of Boston, how about them Red Sox?
• Speaking of them Red Sox, I sure do wish I could talk about them with my dad again.  He would have LOVED this team.

Why?

This week at New Life we are supposed to begin a new series of messages we are calling, "Why We", in an effort to give some context to why we do certain things as a church.  I always like asking the "why" questions and maybe, in small ways, helping people come to a greater understanding in the process.

But there are some "why" questions that don't have good answers, aren't there?

Those are the questions that are being asked after explosions ripped into a crowd of people watching marathon runners come to the end of what should have been a triumphant moment in their lives.  To put it directly, the question being asked is this:  "Why would God allow something like this to happen?"

That's a question that doesn't have a good answer for those of us who believe in a God who is both everlasting in his goodness and unlimited in his power.  And for those who don't carry that belief, it can easily become a "gotcha" question to ask when in a debate about the existence of a God who seems either incapable of stopping tragedies or lacking in goodness.  In the midst of those kinds of questions, when people of faith and people without faith are both shaking their heads in confusion and disbelief I wonder if we don't lose sight of an important, but difficult, reality.

We are not the point of the story.

All of the goodness we experience in this life - the beauty, the joy of love, the exhiliration of life, the triumphs of the human spirit on an athletic field or a canvas or a stage - these are all derived from the goodness of a Creator who chose to create this world of endless possibility.  But they are not the end of the goodness.  An athletic achievement or a beautiful sunset cannot fill up the full measure of the goodness that we humans are made to experience.  They point to a greater good and a Creator whose goodness infuses this world and gives us the ability to enjoy it.

So what about the pain?  The suffering?  What about the agony of defeat?  

Isn't it possible that those too point to a God who is still good even when our experience is not?  When that experience of goodness is interrupted, in the tragic and abrupt way it was yesterday, we may still be able to discern the echo of God's voice.  We cry out for justice because when innocent lives are lost we feel, from the depths of our souls that this is unjust.  We cry tears of pain because the beauty of a day filled with promise and fulfillment was stained with blood.  And beneath the cries and the tears still the longing for goodness survives; the human spirit reaches out for satisfaction that it is not finding in the moment.

There, I would suggest, is where God is in the midst of these tragedies.  He is in the gap between what is and what should be.  He is the echo of justice and beauty that resounds when the ugliness of human hatred explodes on the street.  His voice is the one that still calls out to our hearts, inviting us to find solace in him and with him.  

Sometimes there are no good answers, but even then, I choose to believe in a good God.  I know that won't be satisfactory for some, and I can certainly understand that.  For thousands of years now people like me, listening for the echo of God's voice in suffering, have found that when we're quiet enough, we can still hear him.  So let me leave you with the verses I read this morning that reminded me to listen for God's good voice:

"God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling...
Be still, and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:1-3, 10

CrossFit and Church?

For a while I've been telling myself I need to go check out this CrossFit training which is a pretty popular training program and has an affiliate in our area.  I hemmed and hawed about actually joining for several months before finally taking the plunge when the kids went back to school.  Last week I participated in a four session On Ramp class which introduced us to the basic moves involved in a CrossFit workout.   Once Icompleted the On Ramp class, I was invited to participate in the regular training sessions.

So this Monday morning I showed up for my first official CrossFit workout, otherwise known as the WOD - Workout of the Day.  The WOD itself is pretty insane.  I've been exercising fairly regularly for the last several years - first with cardio work and eventually adding weight training over the last year and a half.  But over that time I've essentially been working out on my own.  I had a friend training with me for a few months, but the vast majority of my time in the gym has been walking in on my own, grabbing an elliptical on my own, and then lifting weights on my own.

CrossFit is much more of a community.  You participate in a class with several other people doing the same WOD with a coach walking you through the movements for the day.  You're not alone in the workout, even if you're not competing with the other athletes in your class, you are surrounded by them.  And I'll be honest, the first day I walked into a class, I felt totally, completely unprepared.  Sure I'd done the On Ramp, so I knew some of what was going to happen.  And I'd met a couple of the coaches already, so I knew I'd at least recognize someone there.  But I didn't know what the workout would consist of, and I didn't know a single other person in the class I was taking.

In other words, I think I felt like someone showing up at church for the very first time might feel.  It produced an incredible amount of anxiety in me.  I stood on the outskirts and waited to see if anyone would say "hello" to me.  I wondered what was going to happen, and when it was going to happen.  I checked the clock.  I fidgeted nervously pretending to "warm up" but mostly trying to pass the time until someone would tell me what to do next.  

As an "insider" to the church world but an "outsider" to the CrossFit world, it was an experience that taught me a valuable lesson.  There's no substitute for a friendly greeting, a quick conversation that lets someone know they matter, and an attempt to include the outsider in the insider world.  That's true whether you're at the gym or the church.  

So next Sunday, think about the person who's walking into our church for the first time.  Think about the anxiety they might be feeling, the many times they thought about showing up but decided not to, and then realize that you could be part of the reason they come back.  It doesn't take much.  A smile, a handshake, finding out a name, or an introduction to one of your friends.  But those little things make all the difference between a guest feeling welcomed, and feeling left out.  

Resources, Links, and More

Off and on over the last seven months I spent time preparing for the message I delivered at New Life yesterday morning.  In some ways it was one of the more important messages in my 12 years at the church because I wanted to frame our church's approach to sexuality in a way that was gracious, truthful, thoughtful, and biblical.  I think it's possible to be all of those things, and yesterday may have been the most challenging attempt at bringing all of those together as we talked about homosexuality, Christianity, and getting past the labels that we either take for ourselves or have given to us.

My hope was to move us past the dialogue (arguments) that are framed by the sexual identity story which means that we should take an identity label for ourselves based largely on one small slice of who we are.  A sexual preference is not enough to define any one person.  On the whole, churches and Christian leaders have missed the opportunities to talk about homosexuality from a gracious standpoint because we have been too concerned with switching labels on the outside, rather than with allowing God's grace to do what God's grace always does:  take broken human beings and redeem them through Christ's sacrifice into sons and daughters.  I wanted to be careful to talk about homosexuality within the context of broken humanity, and also to remind us that God's design for sexuality from the creation was for male and female in a covenant relationship which is not only about companionship, but about the completion of the creation. 

In the context of the gospel, the labels "homosexual" and "heterosexual" don't really mean anything.  What matters is that we are all broken human beings in need of Christ's redemption.  Here are the last three paragraphs from my notes yesterday which I offer here as a summary of the message yesterday.  Following that are some of the resources I found helpful and which you may find helpful in exploring this topic further.  

It is a mistake to buy into the idea that same sex attraction, orientation and identity are all one and the same.  There are people who experience same sex attraction but never identify themselves with the labels.  The question for the church is whether or not we can get past the labels and start treating people with grace and dignity.  I’m convinced that by collapsing all of these together, the church is not giving the person who wrestles with same sex desire any other alternative – they either have to pray the desires away, or they have to embrace the gay identity.  What if we could offer a different story to tell of a person who experiences same sex attractions, but submits those to Christ’s work of shaping his character to reflect God’s glory? 

The goal of God’s redemption is not the elimination of sexual desire, but that sexual desire would come under our desire for Christ.  In that context celibacy can be a completely valid expression of submission to Christ – not just denial of sexual desire, but of total fulfillment in Christ.  The end result of our entire life is to be delivered up for God’s glory through Christ who has redeemed us for his praise.  The goal for us in the church should not be that we “re-orient” a homosexual person, but that we re-orient our entire lives towards Christ and his glory, and allow that vision and desire to swallow up every other desire.

Everything I have said today has been primarily geared towards a person who is following Jesus.  We in the church need to have this discussion in a way that allows us to be both gracious and truthful.  I hope that if you are not a follower of Jesus and you’ve listened closely today you have heard those two clearly.  When we talk to people who are not following Jesus, the goal is never to start by addressing particular sins, and homosexuality is one that we stumble over quite quickly.  Rather the goal is to address the gospel, the redemption of broken human beings through Christ, which changes not only our sexual identity, but our human identity so that what we have in common is Christ overwhelming our brokenness, no matter what label the world puts on it.

Books:

• Mark Yarhouse, Homosexuality and the Christian.  This was one of the most helpful books for me in sorting through some of the more technical aspects of research on the topic of homosexuality and which really helped me frame out how a pastor and a church could respond to this topic.
• Jenell Williams Paris, The End of Sexual Identity.  This book was extremely helpful in understanding the development of the sexual identity framework, and helped move me towards the "broken human" identity concept that was so central to the message.
• Andrew Marin, Love is an Orientation.  I should confess I didn't read this book only because I didn't have time before putting the message together, but I believe it would be a very valuable resource, and is on my list to order with my next round of books.

Online Resources:

• Interview with Jennell Williams Paris on the invention of sexual identity:  http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Invention-of-Homosexuality-and-Heterosexuality-Jenell-Paris-Veritas-Riff-10-03-2011.html
• Relevant Magazine article on prevalence of pre-marital sex among Evangelical Christians:  http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/28337-the-secret-sexual-revolution
• I referenced nationally known speaker Dan Savage and his comments about the Bible at a national convention for high school journalists.  You can find an article, with related video, here:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/under-god/post/dan-savage-offends-with-comments-on-christainity/2012/04/30/gIQAhzIVsT_blog.html
• And, in fairness, here's the story with video of the North Carolina pastor whose hateful sermon got national publicity:  http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/22/video-of-north-carolina-pastors-plan-to-get-rid-of-gays-goes-viral/
• Remember - both of those links are examples of our tendency to make caricatures of either side, and a failure to look for a middle way.  
• One of my favorite speakers, Matt Chandler, addressed this topic at The Village Church in Texas:
  • Part 1:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c8rGtTZCnM
  • Part 2:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjOneiZgQtU

There are other resources that helped me along the way, but these are several of the ones that were most important to me in the process.  I hope you find those helpful, and that you'll keep being willing to think deeply about the Scriptures, sexuality, and finding a way forward for each broken human being towards the fullness of Christ's redemption.