Every once in a while God still surprises me. I've been following Jesus for most of my life, have prayed to God asking for incredible things then seen them happen, I have heard messages that felt like God was speaking directly to me, and have given my fair share of messages where I knew that if no one else in the room needed to hear it, I did. I have seen God provide for me financially in unexpected ways, provide for me emotionally when I didn't feel like I could take another step in ministry, and seen him come through for me in ways both great and small. And still God surprises me.
This past week I went to the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta with two guys from the church who are doing ministry with me. We were part of a fairly large group from our denomination attending the conference together. We were surrounded by approximately 13,000 other leaders, from different denominations, all 50 states, and 13 countries around the world. We were experiencing just a little bit of what heaven will be like as we sang our hearts out in worship to God. Those experiences were punctuated by great teaching, inspiring messages, and the occasional comedy provided by the always brilliant Tripp and Tyler.
And in the middle of the chaos of 13,000 people going in and out, the loudness of the music, the gravity of the content presented by the speakers God did what he does. He spoke to me quietly. He spoke to me about the things happening underneath the surface of my life, the parts of my heart that no one else would see or know. He spoke to me about the ways that the desire for the big stage and the bigger platform sometimes creep into my motives and lead me away from truly desiring him.
Then he sent me home ready to preach this Sunday's message on the same theme. He used the speakers like Andy Stanley, Christine Caine, Francis Chan, Craig Groeschel, and Matt Chandler to unearth the parts of my heart that he needed to deal with, and then he confirmed it by having the same things come out of my own mouth on Sunday. It's easy to listen to someone talk about what you need to do, it's another thing to stand in front of a group of people and confirm that you're willing to do it because you know you need to practice what you preach.
And while several different speakers said it in several different ways, here's what Catalyst boiled down to for me, and what leadership reduces down to when the leader is done simmering in God's stock pot: Jesus is better. Jesus is better than my job as a pastor. Jesus is better than the great church that I am a part of. Jesus is better than the big stage, or the church growth, or the sermon I will preach this weekend. He's just better. And that's enough for me.
Saturday night I re-read a verse I had read and meditated on several months ago, but which came back very strongly to my memory. Psalm 73:25 says this: "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." I had to confess that, if I was honest, there were other things on earth that I desired more than God. But this last several days was a healthy reminder that, if I want to be the leader God wants me to be, then I have to remember to desire him above everything else. He's better, and that's enough.
Recent Comments